Then Love Again
by Love For Stories
Summary: When Daniel died, there was no one who took care of the young woman who had just lost her reason to live. She is thrown into a loveless marriage, but there is one light in the darkness. A certain blonde maid . The Queen feels threatened by her ability to see through her walls, and refuses to let her in. Can she help Regina to learn how to love again? SwanQueen. AU, set in FTL.
1. The Stables

_Then Love Again_

When Daniel died, there was no one who took care of the young woman who had just lost her reason to live. She is thrown into a loveless marriage, but there is one light in the darkness. A certain blonde maid. The Queen feels threatened by her ability to see through her walls, and refuses to let her in. Can she help Regina to learn how to love again? SwanQueen.

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DISCLAIMER: I don't own any of this, I just borrowed it. Just for fun.

**I got the idea for this fic while I was watching YouTube video's, and I just had to write it down and get it out of my system. I'm not sure if I will be continue it though, it kinda depends on what you all think about it. It's a little bit darker than the other fic I'm writing, and I'm not really sure if it is any good, since I've never done anything like this before. **

**I hope you will like it, and drop a review to let me know what you think.**

**Enjoy.**

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**Chapter 1**

The stables

She felt numb. Unable to move, to feel, to think. She didn't want to feel anything at all, because by feeling it, it would all become real. And she wanted to postpone that moment as long as possible. until then, she could still pretend everything was fine. She could live in her own little dream world she had created for herself so long ago.

Not wanting to give in to the urge to spill the already burning tears in her eyes, she closed her eyes more tightly. Bringing her knees to her chest, hugging her own body. She tried to shield herself from the moment reality would barge in and crush her in to a million tiny pieces.

Digging her nails deeper into her palms, she rocked herself slowly. Back and forth. Back and forth. As in a haze she could see herself sitting there, closed off from the world around her, not noticing any of the things going on.

Her brain seemed to have shut down completely, not capable of processing what had happened not so long ago. She had lost all track of time since she had fallen onto the cold, relentless floor of the stables.

Behind her a horse whinnied softly, as if he wanted to tell her she wasn't alone. But she ignored him. She was alone. Her mother had taken everything she loved. She had killed him. For her own good, or so had Cora said.

As if that would make it all less painful. Daniel, her sweet, innocent Daniel. How naïve they had been. planning to run away together, not seeing any troubles. They had been so blind.

She wanted to believe so badly that it would all be that easy. Daniel would take her someplace safe, somewhere she would never had to worry about her mother again. A place she could be herself without any consequences.

How wrong had she been. She couldn't escape from her mother. Not now, not ever. But Daniel had told her it would work, and how stupid of her to just believe him without a second thought.

Love is weakness.

How right had her mother been. She saw it now. But it was too late, it was always to later for her. How Cora had found out about hers and Daniel's plan to run away, was still a mystery for her.

She had been so careful not to let her excitement shine through her normal behavior. But she should have known her mother would find out anyway. Cora had eyes and ears everywhere in the castle and surrounding lands.

There were no secrets for her, and no one would ever dare to stand up to her. To face her and tell her she was a bad person. Although Daniel had tried. He had tried for her, and now he was dead. Because of her.

She knew it was really her mother to blame, but she couldn't. Daniel had been here for her, to take her away from the iron fist of her mother. But it was her who stood in their way, making it impossible to fulfill their dream.

By killing the man she loved. Loves, she corrected herself.

She still loved him, and no matter what, she would never give up fighting for him. Seeking everywhere to find a remedy or even magic to bring him back to her. He was her first and only love. She could never love somebody else.

Only the thought of giving her heart to another person made her feel sick. Daniel had her heart, and he would keep it, forever.

The place where her heart had just moments ago been filled with happiness and love, was now an empty space. When Cora had pulled Daniel's heart out of his chest, she had taken Regina's too. When she had crushed his heart into a pile of lifeless dust, her heart had crumbled alongside with it.

When his body fell to the ground, her knees had grown weak and she fell down next to him. Holding him close, cradling him. Begging him not to leave her. His eyes had only stared straight ahead into nothing, all the life had disappeared.

Those eyes she loved so much, where she found so much comfort in. Her whole day brightened when she saw him smile, and the smallest glint of joy reaching his bright green orbs could make even the worst day better.

A single tear ran down her cheek, showing a crack in the wall guarding her heart. She knew that this was her only chance to cry, since Cora did not allow her to be weak.

Another tear made its way down her already red cheek. She felt the dam break that had prevented her from crying earlier, and she let the tears flow freely, sobbing heavily. Once she started, she couldn't stop. Finally fully realizing what had happened.

He was dead. Killed.

She was alone, again.

She felt powerless. Her mother had taken the only thing she had lived for away. Another sob escaped her throat. More tears fell from her eyes and she felt more lonely than ever before.

Whenever her mother had lashed out her anger at her, she had always felt safe in Daniel's arms. He comforted her and kissed her tears away. He had also kissed the bruises her mother had caused to appear on her skin so often.

But he wasn't here anymore. He would never comfort her again, all because her mother had thought it was better for her to marry someone with power. Not a simple stable boy.

But Daniel had been so much more than a simple peasant to her. He was the first one to love her for who she was. Not more and not less. Something her own mother had never done. He made her feel special. Made her feel wanted, a feeling she had missed throughout her whole childhood.

He was her candle, her light in the darkness of her mother's power.

After almost an hour of uninterrupted crying, her throat hurt and her eyes were read and puffy. She needed to regain herself before going back to the castle. Back to her.

Standing up tall, she felt the soreness in her muscles. She had been sitting in the same position for hours, not able to move. But now she regretted that. She stretched her limps, winching at the slight feeling of pain it gave her.

It was dark outside, and a cold wind blew in through the open doors. The full moon shined happily, surrounded by only a handful of clouds. The stars where visible and were spread out over the dark night sky as the first drops of rain on dry ground.

Using the water of one of the horses to clean her face, she felt refreshed. Although she still felt lost and alone, she needed to go back and show her mother she wasn't at least affected by this. Her mother wanted her to be strong? Well, so it be.

She dried her eyes for the last time and hardened her eyes. She buried all her emotions in the back of her head, locking them away safely. So she could only let them out when she choose too.

Stepping outside, she looked at the tall black building that supposed to be her home. But it wasn't. It was a house, just an empty, cold collection of walls and windows. Walls that kept her caged inside. Windows that showed her the outside word. Free, and tempting.

Her home had been with Daniel. She would have been happy if they had lived in the woods, if he was there with her it would all be alright.

She thought, fighting hard to not burst into tears again.

Behind the castle were vaguely the high mountains visible. The hard grey stone and the everlasting snow on the tops. Behind those mountains were other realms she was thrilled to visit and discover their secrets. But she knew she never would. In a few days she would be married to the King.

The father of the girl she had saved only a few days ago. It felt like a lifetime since she saw the helpless girl on the back of a fast running horse, calling for someone to help her.

Regina had handled out of instinct. She could not let that girl die. Not a fiber in her body doubted that. So she had jumped on her horse and chased after the girl. Not knowing what her action would cause.

It had started out so innocent. The girl thanked her for her help, introducing herself as Snow white. She and her father traveled through the lands, looking for a new wife, mother and Queen.

Cora, of course, thought it was the perfect chance for her. Regina would be Queen. That was what she had always wanted, wasn't it? But no, that was what her mother had wanted, and she was using her daughter to get it.

But Regina didn't know that. She was mad at her mother for accepting King Leopold's proposal, for pushing her into the situation she was in now. She would have power, after all, she would become Queen. But Regina didn't want power, she wanted freedom. Freedom to do what she wanted, to be herself.

She was well aware of what the lust of power could do to you. She had the perfect example in the form of her power sucking mother.

She stopped walking when she reached the middle of the grass field. She wanted to turn around, look at the place that stood for happiness for a long time. But she knew she wouldn't see it as it used to be. It was impersonal now. Just a building with a bad memory. A memory she as trying so hard to forget although it happened a few hours ago.

She knew that if she turned around, the control she had over her emotions now, would vanish as snow in the hot summer sun. It would break her even more then she already was.

So she kept her eyes straight forward and began walking again. Her legs were heavy, and she had to use all her strength to not sink down in the grass and curl up in a ball and cry till she would fall asleep.

Nearing the end of the grass, she slowed her pace. Her mother would probably be waiting inside, to see how she was. Not to pity her, but to yell at her for being weak. For choosing love over power. And even worse, for showing her weakness by crying about it.

She decided to sneak in the back door that was only used by the maids and gardeners. Her mother would never be waiting for her there, it was way too low for her to be spotted there. So Regina would be safe. At least safer then she would be when she would just casually using the front door.

She placed her hand on the door handle, seeing her reflection in the small glass window in the door. She looked terrible. Her eyes were still red and swollen from all the crying, her dress was all muddy and wrinkled and her hair was one big mess with a few straws peeking out as evidence she had been laying on the floor of the stables.

She pulled them out, letting them fall on the ground. She hoped all the servants had all gone to bed already and no one would see her like this. It was embarrassing enough for her to know there were whispers and talks about her. It would only intensify if she would walk in looking like an emotional wreck.

I am an emotional wreck.

She laughed bitterly, trying to ease herself before pushing the handle down and opening the door. All the lights were out and there was no sign of anyone present in the room.

She let out a relieved sigh and opened the door further. But, of course, she couldn't be this lucky. To be alone in this house was already a task, but when you really needed some space, there were always people around everywhere. No matter where you would run to. Just like now.

The girl was turned with her back towards Regina, sitting on a chair with her face down to something on the table before her. Her blonde curls lying motionless on her back.

Regina was sure she had already heard her enter, but decided not to let it show. She was grateful for that. The last thing she needed right now was somebody asking questions. If she would talk about it, she would probably burst into tears again, no matter how hard she would try to cover it up.

"You came back so late my lady. It's well past your bedtime you know." Sounded the clear voice of the yet anonymous girl.

Regina tried to remember that voice, but no matter how hard she tried, she could not put a face to this unknown voice.

"That's none of your business. I can go out and come back whenever I want." Regina answered with a cold and bitter tone.

"We both know your mother would never allow that." The blonde girl said, now turning around to face her.

This girl, or yet, young woman, seemed to know the relationship between her mother and her better than most of the staff here. It annoyed her she didn't know who it was. When her brown eyes connected to the green ones across the room, a wave of recognition hit her. It was one of the servants of the King that had traveled along with him and his daughter.

She was the one witnessing the King's proposal which her mother had accepted so easily. If she remembered correctly, this woman went by the name of Emma, or something like that.

"You know nothing about my mother." Was the only thing Regina could get out due to the surprise this girl seemed to be aware of her mother's rules.

"Yet I do. Does it annoy you?" Said the blonde woman with a smirk.

Regina felt to tired and emotionally spent to be having a discussion with this bold woman she didn't even know. She recovered quickly and answered with a sneer.

"No, it does not. Goodnight."

She walked past the woman sitting on the stool without giving her a second glance. Her chin lifted high in the air, showing the woman she was done talking to her.

Despite of her cold reply and clear signs, the other woman kept on talking.

"It does. You just don't want to admit it." She said, "Actually, I think your dying from curiosity to know why I know so much about you. You're just feeling too proud to give in and ask."

Regina's step faltered slightly. The woman was right, but she felt anger burn up. This woman was so bluntly talking to her like she was talking to another maid instead to the woman she supposed to be serving. She turned around on her heels, giving her a foul look.

"I have no intention of having a conversation with you, servant." She spitted out the last word, trying to make it sound as angry as she felt. "you'd better stop talking before I get you fired."

Regina wasn't able to actually do that, but the threat seemed to scare the blonde a little. The little victory gave Regina a little bit of her old self back.

"You can't do that, but I'll shut up if you want me too. Goodnight Lady Regina."

The blonde woman said, turning her attention back to the thing on the table she was looking at before Regina had entered the room.

Regina felt her anger burn in her veins, desperate to release all the build feelings inside. But she couldn't do that. She was a lady, and ladies don't do such things as lash out to servants.

Only to their daughters

Without another word she turned around and walked out the door. She missed the hidden smile of the green eyed woman.

When she finally reached her bedroom, she collapsed on her queen sized bed, still dressed in her filthy clothes. With a soft grunt she removed the cold fabric from her body, leaving her in her underwear. She quickly changed into her nightgown and crawled under the covers.

Sleeping was gonna be tough, but she hugged the pillow next to her tightly. She closed her eyes and banned all the thoughts from her mind. She softly hummed to herself, as she had done so many times when she couldn't sleep due to her mother's actions.

Although she thought sleeping would be a problem, she was very tired and drifted off sooner then she expected.

But one image she couldn't remove from her thoughts. The look of satisfaction her mother had when she crushed Daniel's heart bore a hole in her already dead heart.

It's for your own good

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**That was the first chapter.**

**Please drop a review and let me know what you think. Continue or not?**

**Thank you for reading.**


	2. Dreams

_Then Love Again_

DISCLAIMER: I don't own any of this, I just borrowed it. Just for fun.

**A/N: Thank you all so much for all the positive reviews! And of course the follows and favorites. Every new email brightens my day a little more. So keep them coming please.**

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**Chapter 2**

Dreams

The wind blew through the big oak trees that were standing on the other side of the large field, creating an almost spooky sound. The moon was blocked from view by a few passing clouds, making the night dark and somewhat lonely . The only light came from the stars high above her head.

She walked on the grass, making no sound. It felt like her feet weren't even touching the ground, moving around like some sort of ghost. The cold night air touched her bare arms, leaving a trail of goose bumps in its way. She couldn't suppress the upcoming shiver.

Wrapping her arms more tightly around her torso, she rubbed her own arms, hoping to get a little warmer. This was insane, going outside in the middle of fall in only her thin, barely covering night gown. In her rush to get out she had forgotten to put something warmer on. But now she regretted her decision and bit her lip, preventing her teeth from chattering.

A twig cracked.

Regina turned around in an instant, focusing her gaze on the shadow standing a few feet away from her. Its back was turned towards her, slightly hunched forward. Although she couldn't see a face, she would recognized that form anywhere. The broad shoulders, the strong legs and the short brown hair that surrounded his face so perfectly. That hair that shined so beautifully when the sunrays fell on them.

Daniel.

She called out for him, but her voice seemed to be blown away by the wind, never reaching Daniel's ears. Or maybe he had heard her, but just choose to ignore her, because he didn't turn around, or even moved a muscle. He kept gazing at the distance, arms hanging useless beside his body.

"Daniel!" She shouted again, desperately trying to get his attention. But again he didn't make any move indicating he had heard her or even noticed her presence.

Taking another step forward, she brought her hands to her mouth. She called for him once again. Still getting no reaction, she felt tears burn in her eyes and she took the remaining steps that were left between Daniel and her.

It wasn't like him to ignore her. On the contrary, he always seemed so happy to see her. She lifted her arm, placing a shaking hand on his shoulder. With a yelp she retracted it as soon as her hand missed its destination. She was sure she aimed right, but Daniel seemed to have moved, because her hand missed him on a hair length.

"Daniel…?" It came out as a whisper this time, too afraid it would somehow scare him away. He looked so fragile and inhuman. It was very unlike him, and an uncomfortable feeling settled in the pit of Regina's stomach. She couldn't exactly place a finger on it, but something about this whole situation was not right.

She carefully took another step closer to him, now close enough to hear his soft breath. She walked around him so she could look him in the eyes, maybe he would finally see her. lifting her chin to meet his eyes, she was shocked to see the dull look in the two of them. They looked like they didn't see anything at all.

They looked dead.

Her heart started racing and she couldn't keep her hands still anymore. They flew up to his face, cupping both of his cheeks.

"Daniel! Can you hear me? Are you all right?" Just as her hands, her voice was shaking and a few lost tears made their way down her face.

He still stood motionless, staring right at her, but at the same time he looked far behind her, like he was focusing on something further away without getting a clear vision of it. The next second his opened eyes closed, and due to the sudden action, Regina stepped back too quickly, causing her to trip on a rock that was placed behind her feet.

She ungracefully landed on her backside, causing a stinging pain to shoot through her spine to her head. She silently cursed to herself. She looked at Daniel, who still stood in the same pose as he had before she had fallen to the ground. He still had his eyes closed and made no move to help her up.

Letting her hands feel over the hard ground she looked for the object that caused her to trip over. Soon her hand found something, but is wasn't as hard as a rock should be. Or as cold. She took the thing in her hands and brought it closer to her face to get a better look at it in the darkness that surrounded her.

It was oval shaped, and felt soft but firm in her hand. Warmth radiated out of it into the palm of her hand. As if it reacted to her touch, it lighted up as soon as it was placed into her hand. The faint red glow lighted her hand, giving it a weird color.

Suddenly she realized what it was, and the feeling of horror washed over her. She wanted to throw it away, but somehow it was stuck to her hand. When she wasn't able to get it off, she panicked. In a wave of stupidity she started to shake her hand. When that didn't work, she tried to peel it of using her other hand.

Soon both her hands were glued to the heart that started to glow more furiously every passing second. It was bright red now and had started to pulsate too. With both her hands unusable, it was hard to get up, but eventually she was back on her feet.

When she finally looked back at Daniel, or at least the man who looked like him, she was breathing heavily. His eyes were now fixated on her and the heart in her hands. He still hadn't said a word, but his eyes told her enough.

This was Daniel's heart. She was holding his heart.

But what was his heart doing out of its usual place and on the ground in the first place? It didn't make any sense, but that was her last worry right now. She needed to put it back in. She did not know much about replacing hearts, and she knew he could live without. But then he would never be capable of love ever again.

She had never seen a heart, neither has she ever seen someone pull it out or put it back in. For a few seconds she just stared at the object in her hands, unsure what to do now. Should she just push it against his chest? Or maybe plunge it in with a little more force? She really had no idea.

She raised her arms and made a movement towards his chest, Daniel still standing still.

"Don't be so foolish dear. You can't put that back in."

A voice came from behind. A voice she knew so well. It had yelled at her, called her weak and never said anything nice. It belonged to her mother. She instantly froze. How? How could her mother know she was here? It was impossible.

But yet, there she was. Cora. The woman Regina feared most of all people. Her mother held power over her, and they both knew it.

"You can't put that back." Cora repeated, "You are not capable of doing such a thing, dear."

The unfriendly tone in her voice didn't went unnoticed by Regina, and a shiver ran down her spine.

"Why not, mother? I don't think it is as hard as it looks."

Regina said, trying to sound more confident then she felt. But although she tried to sound strong, she couldn't keep the shaking undertone out of her voice. As she also could not hide her shaking hands and knees.

"Don't be stupid. Its stuck to your hands, my dear. How did you supposed to get it in if you can't let it go? "

Regina stood star struck. Her mother was right. No matter how hard she had tried, she couldn't let it go. She had lost.

Not wanting to let her mother know she had won, she replied to her with venom in her voice,

"I imagine there is a way. I can't just live my live with a heart in my hands."

"No, indeed you can't." Her mother said. Her tone had something sweet, but the smirk that lay on her lips told otherwise.

"You have to get rid of it, and I know just the way."

"I don't want to just get _rid _of it." Regina said, feeling her anger bubble up. "It needs to be put back where it belongs."

"That's not gonna happen, dear. There's nothing you can do to safe him. He is lost. You have to think about yourself. Imagine what people will say about you if you run around with that in your hands."

Regina couldn't care less about what other people would think. She needed to save him. She needed to save Daniel from this, this terrible faith. In an act of desperation she plunged towards Daniels chest. With a soft thud her bounded hands landed on the fabric of the shirt he was wearing.

Nothing happened. She still had his heart in her hands. On the wrong side of his chest.

When the realization hit her that she couldn't win from her mother, a couple of the unwanted tears she had tried so hard to keep inside fell down her cheeks.

"That's what I thought. Are you ready to listen to me now?" Cora smiled sweetly.

Regina could only nod, unable to form words.

"Good," Cora continued, "Crush it."

"Cr-crush it?"

Regina hoped she had misunderstood her mother. She could not crush Daniel's heart, right? Then he would… die.

"Yes dear. Crush it. It's the only way to save your reputation."

"My reputation?"

Regina spat out. How was her reputation more important than Daniel's life? She loved him! She could not kill him. Not in a million years.

"How can you ever become Queen if you keep clinging to that man? You need to make your way free to get the power you want."

Cora took a step closer to Regina, stretching her arms out and wrapped her hand around her daughters.

"It's fairly easy. Just squeeze."

With her hands now trapped between her mother's, Regina couldn't prevent her hands from pressing into the red glowing heart. She wanted to fight it, but her mother was too strong.

In front of them, Daniel screamed and tumbled over to the ground. Regina wanted to run to him, to help him get back up on his feet, to hold him close and to tell her it would all be okay. And more than anything , she wanted to place his heart back to its official place and see the life return to his eyes.

But her mother's firm grip on her hands didn't loosen up when she heard the screams of pain escape from Daniel's lips. Instead of letting go, she added more pressure, causing the heart to shrink in Regina's hands.

More tears escaped from Regina's eyes when she felt the heart give in to the pressure. With one last, painful scream, the heart crumbled in her hands. The fine grey dust fell in the grass, and her hands were free again.

Next to her Daniel had grown silent. Too silent. She didn't have to look at him to know the light in his eyes was gone. Forever.

"What have you done?"

She stumbled over her words, still in shock of what just happened in front of her. Not capable of processing it yet.

"What _I _have done? Oh, no honey. I didn't do anything." Cora sounded innocent, childish even, "_You_ killed him. I only helped."

"You were the one true reason he died."

_You._

….

Regina shot up in her bed with a scream. Covert in sweat and her legs tangled up in her sheets, she looked around her room, bewildered.

_It was just a dream. Just a dream._

She tried to calm herself, but it didn't work. She could still hear Daniels's final scream before his heart was crushed into dust. It was the same scream she had heard when her mother had crushed his heart in the stables. Back then she couldn't do anything, and she still could not stand up against her mother. Not even in her dreams.

Feeling her tears burn in her eyes, she laid back down on her bed. Her pillow was wet, probably because she had cried in her sleep. Her hair was a sticky mess, and she was still covert in a thin layer of sweat. Even though there was a cold wind coming from her open window into her room.

Throwing back her sheets to cool down a little, she replayed her dream in her head. It hadn't gone the same as it had in reality, but it came all down to the same thing. It was all her fault.

No matter how you would put it, it would all point back at her. She was too weak to stand up to her mother. Her own mother. And now Daniel had died as a cause of that. If had just ran away with him weeks earlier. Then she hadn't been aware of Snows existence, she wouldn't have to marry Leopold and she had a chance at happiness. With Daniel.

Her hand disappeared under her pillow. Her fingers looked for the cold feeling of metal, and after a few seconds she felt the ring laying against her skin. The ring he had gave her. The ring he had used to propose to her. it was just a ring from a horse saddle, but it meant more to her than any diamond ring ever could.

It was something Daniel and her shared. Their love for horses and for each other. It was perfect.

She hanged in on a thin silver necklace so she could keep it on her anytime without her mother noticing it.

Slipping the ring on her finger, she felt the cold material calm her down a little. It felt like she had something of him on her now. It comforted her. she brought her hand up to her lips and pressed a kiss on the golden band.

"I'll find a way to save you. I promise."

* * *

Emma heard the scream that pierced the night. It was Regina, she was sure. When the brunette entered the kitchen a few hours earlier she had looked devastated. Like she had just lost something terrible. After a few questions to other maids that were still up, she found out Regina left earlier that evening to go to her riding lesson.

And if she had to believe the maids, it weren't just normal lessons.

…

"_She has a thing for the Stable Boy, you know. I heard he proposed to her a few days ago." The brown haired maid named Ruby giggled._

"_She is probably going there now to, you know, hook up." The other maid whispered, as if no one but them could hear it. Which was rather impossible because they were all alone in an empty kitchen. _

_After her words, both girls burst into laughter as if they just heard the funniest joke ever._

"_I bet her mother isn't too pleased with that." Emma said when the girls finally calmed down a little._

"_That's the understatement of the year!" The other girl, named Belle answered._

"_Yeah, she is keeping Regina on such a short leash that poor girl can't even go outside without her mother knowing it." Ruby told them._

"_Cora even uses.. uh, other methods to keep Regina from running away." Ruby continued on a softer tone. It was clear that she didn't want anyone to hear her speaking badly of the Lady of the house._

_Emma suspected she would use the same "methods" on the maids if needed too. And it couldn't be any good if even Cora's own daughter was afraid of her._

"_If I were her, I would have ran away years ago." Belle says, throwing a brown lock of her hair back. _

"_She can't. I heard about another servant who tried to leave, and there are stories of an invisible wall around the lands. If you cross it, you lose your memories. That poor girl didn't even recognized her own mother." Ruby says with a glint of fear in her eyes._

"_How is it possible for her quests to enter and leave without damage?" Emma asked the both of them._

"_I don't know. It's only what I heard. I don't even know if it's true." The brown haired girl said._

"_But Cora would never let Regina leave. She would rather kill her then let her go."_

_The tree of them were silent after that statement. All deep in thought._

"_How did her mother become like this?" Emma couldn't help but ask. She was curious how a person could end up so evil._

"_No one knows for sure." Belle said, looking at Ruby for back-up, "some say it's in her personality. That she was pure evil since her birth. Others say she has a heart of stone, or not even a heart at all."_

"_How can you now have a heart, but still live?" Emma wondered._

"_I don't know girl. I'm just a simple maid. But I feel sorry for that poor girl though." Ruby said, standing up to continue what she had been doing before she had been so wrapped up in the conversation._

_Belle also stood back up, but Emma remained sitting on the ground. She needed some time to process all her gathered information. The longer she stayed here, the more she came to know about this crazy family that lived here. _

_The mother was beautiful, but am ice queen, so much was clear to the blonde. And the father, he was a man who was afraid of his wife. He bowed under her shadow, not able to do anything for himself. Which reflected on their daughter._

_And the young lady in question, Regina, was just as beautiful as her mother, even more even. The long dark brown hair fell in waves over her shoulders. And those eyes… her eyes were her best feature. Big chocolate brown pools where Emma had drowned in from the moment she first laid eyes on them. And not to forget, her killer body. The long, slender legs went on forever, above them, a slim waist, followed by a long neck._

_Yes, she was gorgeous._

"_Stop drooling and get your ass up. There is a lot more to do!" Ruby's voice interrupted Emma's daydream._

"_Yes my lady. I'll make myself useful." Emma said with a grin._

…

She had learned a lot that day. It seemed not only Cora had eyes and ears everywhere. The staff did know a lot too. They may not know everything, or many details, but at least now Emma knew how it all worked around here.

She had seen Cora walk in late at night, hours before Regina. She had a satisfied look in her eyes, like she had just done something she had wanted to do for a very long time. The straw that was still sticking to the underside of her dress had told Emma she had been in the stables.

The exact same stables Regina had just taken off to. Where Daniel was. When Regina had hours later stumbled into the kitchen, looking like a ghost, Emma had connected the dots.

She wasn't entirely sure, but she knew something terrible had happened there. And Regina was the victim of it all.

Cora had done something that had left Regina an emotional wreck. Emma could see that in the brunettes eyes when she had walked into the kitchen. She had been sitting at the table, reading a book Belle had gave her.

She didn't normally enjoy reading very much. She was more of an outside kinda girl. But Belle had recommended it, and even Ruby had told her it was worth reading. Now, that told her something. She thought back at the moment the three had chatted while doing their daily chores.

It was obvious to Emma that Ruby liked Belle. Very much. Belle was the only one who was totally blind to it all, and Ruby had made peace with the fact they would only be friends. But Emma hadn't given up yet. She would try to convince Ruby to ask Belle out. Maybe not now, but later.

Turning another page of the book she was reading, she felt her eyelids fall close. Belle was right, this was a damn good book. She had been sucked in it for hours now, and that was the only reason she was still up. She was glad though. Otherwise she wouldn't have seen Regina. And Emma made sure she saw the brunette at least once a day.

But the state she saw her in today wasn't really what she hoped to see.

But she would worry about that tomorrow. She was way too tired now and she needed a little sleep. In a few hours she had to get up and start her work here. She had only come here to serve the King and his daughter, but somehow she ended up doing the chores like every other girl here.

In a week she would return back to her own land, taking Regina with them. Although she felt sorry for the girl to be ripped out of her normal life here and be married to someone she didn't even know, she could get used to seeing her beautiful face every day.

Feeling her eyes close again, she closed the book and placed her head on it. She could sleep here, in the kitchen tonight. No one would say anything. And if they would, well, their bad.

Slowly she drifted off, dreaming about Regina.

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**I hope you liked this chapter, it took me pretty long to write it.  
Pease let me know what you think and drop a review.**

**Thank you**


	3. Alone

_Then Love Again_

DISCLAIMER: I don't own any of this, I just borrowed it. Just for fun.

**A/N: Chapter 3 already. I have a lot of inspiration right now, so I try to write as much as I can before it's over ;) **

**For the people who follow my other story, **_**Taking Care Of Each Other**_**, I am working on the next chapter for that one, it just takes a little longer than usual, sorry. But no worries, I will finish that story too, maybe not very fast, but eventually.**

**I hope you enjoy this chapter.**

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**Chapter 3  
**Alone

The week flew by for Regina, and before she knew it she was in a carriage, being transported to Leopold's castle. She was sitting in front of the King himself with Snow next to him. They had stopped trying to make conversation hours ago, and were now all just looking out the window.

The silence was uncomfortable, but none of them was willing to do anything about it. In the beginning of the long ride towards the other land, Snow had chatted a little. About how much she had loved the wedding, how pretty Regina had looked, and how happy she was to have a mother again.

Regina could only listen and nod occasionally. The happiness in the little girls words had hit her hard. She probably was the last person who could ever be a good mother. She never had a good example, and the last thing she wanted was to become like her mother. Snow deserved better than that, but she had no choice.

Snow didn't saw any of that. She only saw the woman who rescued her of that wild horse. To her, Regina was a hero, a woman who could do anything. She knew nothing about her life. She had a loving mother and a brave father, she never had to go through what Regina had to experience. She wasn't aware of what had happened to the man she had loved.

The only thing she knew was what Regina had told her. The lies she was forced to tell the princess. How he had ran away when he found out she was getting married to a King, her father. How he acted as a coward. And that Regina didn't love him anymore, or had even loved him at all.

How easy Snow had believed all the things she had told her. The little girl was so innocent, saw only the good in people, and was blind for the things that happened around her.

Regina looked at the girl sitting on the other end of the carriage next to her father. Regina's husband now. She still couldn't get used to the fact she was married to him. She was his wife, his Queen, his possession.

Snow looked quite bored, but the glint in her eyes told Regina she was happy to return home after a long journey throughout the land. She would return to her own palace. The place where she belonged, where she was happy.

Regina herself was far from happy. Of course there was small feeling of relieve that she wouldn't have to live in the same house as her mother anymore, but she was gonna miss the freedom she had there. Even the smallest bit.

She was gonna miss her father, the reassuring surroundings where she had found comfort in since she was a child, and she would miss a place for her own. Sure, she would get a room in the other castle, her new home. But it would never be the same as the room she grew up in, where she had spent so many hours doing nothing. Just being herself. That simple collection of walls and furniture had become her hide out whenever her mother was looking for her.

The bed where she had slept in so many nights. The windows she looked out every morning. Showing her the sunset and sundown, the beautiful view of the light that slowly made it's over the mountains into her bedroom, warming her, welcoming a new day.

She was gonna miss herself the most. She was married now, and she had to act like a woman. No more horseback riding or whole days spent reading countless books cuddled away in the corner of the room. She had duties now. Attending boring parties, and giving the King every opportunity to show her off to his friends. She had to admit the would like all the attention she would be given, but in return she had to give away a big part of herself. She wasn't sure if that was even worth all the effort.

She knew no one there, and she would be lonely. All her life she had been lonely before Daniel came around. But even he could not get all the chill out of her. She was still as closed off as she had been all her live. She had given Daniel a piece of her heart, and when he died, it died with him, creating an empty hole in her chest. It hurt more then she could ever imagine, and she finally understood her mother's lesson.

_Love is weakness._

She saw it now, and she would never let anyone come so close again. The pain she was feeling now over the loss of her first love, she was never willing to suffer from again. It wasn't that hard to block her emotions, let no one see the real her. She needed to protect her heart, and she would do anything to accomplish that.

No one, beside her mother and her, were aware of what happened that night in the stables. Or at least she hoped so. The last thing she needed right now was someone pitying her. She would only be uncomfortable with that. She needed to be strong, not tempted to give in to the first chance to lift the weight of her shoulders.

Outside she could see the sun lower behind the trees. They had been traveling all day long, and would soon stop to make a camp to rest the night. It was a four day journey to their destination, and Regina was happy she could get out the carriage soon and stretch her leg a little. She didn't like to sit still for so long.

She could hear voices outside talking to each other, probably discussing about the best place to stop before it would get too dark to see anything. She couldn't wait to escape this crammed space and breath in some fresh air.

She wasn't too keen on the whole sleeping in the forest part though. She was used to a soft bed in a warm bedchamber, and the cold, hard forest ground wouldn't even come close to that luxury. She almost couldn't contain the groan when she realized there would be two more of these nights before they would reach their destination.

When they finally slowed down and stopped eventually, she stepped out before anyone could even offer her a hand. Taking in her surroundings, she noticed they were still in the forest. High trees went on forever, and the sandy road went as far as she could see with the occasional curve, bowing it of slightly to the left or right.

It smelled like a typical forest, dirt and pine with a hint of water. There must be a river or something close to the place they chose to rest their head for the night. She walked over to one of the horses that had pulled the carriage she had been sitting in for so many hours.

Horses had always comforted her for as long as she remembered. As she slowly stroke his neck, she felt herself calm down instantly. Placing a soft kiss right behind his ear, she took a step back and saw that Leopold and Snow had also stepped out and were, just as her, now taking in the forest around them.

She didn't know what she had to do from here on and if there was anything she was expected to do, so she walked over to a fallen tree and sat down. As she looked at the servants setting up a few tents, her eyes landed on the lean blonde woman who sprang from one place to another, talking to several people at the same time.

It was the woman who had been sitting in the kitchen that terrible night. The one that knew so much about her and how the things went in her house. It was annoying, and she had her suspicions about how she could ever know that all. She suspected she had talked to the maids or something, because it was overly clear that the maids knew a lot about her and her family.

When she first heard some of the rumors the girls exchanged, she had been furious. But after a while she got used to it. There was nothing you could do about it except ignoring it.

Suddenly the pair of green eyes looked right at her and caught her staring. A light blush crept on Regina's cheeks. She quickly shifted her gaze to her feet, hoping the girl hadn't noticed for how long she had been looked at. And gladly, when Regina dared to look back up, the blonde had resumed her work and didn't look at her anymore.

But it didn't take long before she felt those eyes on her again, and when she looked up, Emma stood only a few feet away.

"How are you doing, your Majesty?"

_Your majesty… _

She still had to get used to that title. It didn't sounded like her at all.

"I'm fine. Thank you."

Was the only thing she said before returning her attention back to her shoes. She hoped the other woman would get the hint that she didn't wanted to talk to anyone and would leave her alone. But the stubborn blonde didn't make any move to walk away. She just stood there, looking aimlessly into the sky that was slowly darkening every minute.

"It's beautiful, isn't it?"

She said with a light voice, placing her hands in her waist and kept staring into the sky.

"The way the sky turns orange and pink. Every night again."

There was a short pause before she began talking again.

"When I was a kid, I used to stay up as long as I could and sneak out at night to watch the sunset."

When there was still no reply from Regina, she took a step closer to the sitting woman.

"I believed it was like magic for so long. Until I grew older and it became just a normal thing. In the morning the sun would come up, and at night it would sink back down. Every day, no exceptions. No matter what day it was, I could always count on the sun to come and go. But it still amazes me sometimes how beautiful it is, you know."

While the woman was talking, Regina had shot her a few glances. She wasn't really interested in this woman's story, but it was still better than the silence that would fall over her when she was alone. Silence was just too painful. It allowed her thoughts to run free, and they would always end up with Daniel.

"Thank you for sharing that with me Miss.."

"Swan. Emma Swan."

_Swan.. What a strange name._

"Miss Swan. But what am I supposed to do whit this information? I am tired, hungry and my muscles are sore from the hours of sitting still. Shouldn't you take care of that and make my life more comfortable?"

She couldn't keep the sneer out of her voice when she added,

"As far as you can get comfortable in a _forest._"

"Well, your Majesty. I'm not actually a servant. Maybe you should ask someone else to take care of your _needs_."

Emma answered her with an angry voice. Regina could sense she had pissed the blonde woman off. She wasn't actually sure what she had done wrong, but when Emma angrily turned around on her heels and practically stormed off, she was a little relieved to be alone again.

Although she felt sorry for being so rude to the girl, she couldn't just run after her and apologize.

_A lady never apologizes to people in a lower rank than her. That's not what a proper woman does._

Her mother had told her that so many times. Every time she had apologized to a servant, her mother had grabbed her arm a little tighter then friendly and whispered those words in her ear. Over the years she had stopped making excuses to other people. The colder her tone was when she scolded at others when they did something wrong, the bigger her mother's smile had grew. It was one of the only ways Regina knew she could make her mother proud of her. And before she knew it, she was getting used to the satisfaction it gave her when her mother smiled at her, although it was never a genuine smile. Since then she had lashed out to people who had done nothing wrong.

But seeing how miss Swan reacted to her unfriendly reply, almost made her stand up and apologize. After all, her mother wasn't here to punish her if she did. But she didn't. it felt wrong. Her mother had trained her so good that she didn't even had her own will anymore.

Seeing Emma talk angrily to an older woman with short dark hair, she couldn't suppress a small smile to play on her lips. Emma and the woman she was talking too looked so much alike, apart from their hair, that they could have been sisters. But Regina saw the grey strands of hair in the older woman's hair, indicating that if they were indeed family, it was probably Emma's mother.

She had to admit, the younger woman looked gorgeous when she was angry. It was something Regina didn't want to say out loud, because that would be insane. First of all, it was a woman. And the second and bigger reason was that she still loved Daniel. She had to. She couldn't just forget him, she had to try and find a way to safe him. Although she had no idea how and where. She simply could not give up so easily. Even though the blonde was attractive.

* * *

"She just assumed I was servant! She started commanding me like I was of less worth then her. Which I am of course… but that's not the point!"

Emma talked furiously to her mother, who just listened to her ranting furiously.

"She is married to him for two days. Two days, and she is already bossing everybody around like some freaking Queen."

"Well, she is a Queen…"

Mary tried carefully. She knew her daughter, and if she was angry, it was better to let her be mad for a minute and pretend to agree with her then to actually talk to her. You had to be careful though. One misplaced comment or misunderstood sentence could let Emma explode. And after seeing it happen enough times, she now know exactly what to do.

"I know! But she doesn't even know me. I could have been Leopold's sister for God's sake, and she would still boss me around."

"Emma, honey. Calm down. I'm sure she didn't mean it that way. She is just a little insecure. How would you feel if you had to marry a man you didn't know, suddenly have a child to care for and leave all you know behind to go and live in a strange castle in a foreign realm?"

Her mother had a point there. Emma was sure it wasn't easy for the brunette, but that was still no excuse to use her like that. Still she felt a little guilty for falling out against the woman who was still sitting there and now looked a little lonely. She had to make it up to her, maybe not now, but at least before she would go to sleep tonight. It wasn't right to fall asleep with unfinished business. It would haunt you in your dreams. Or so her mother had told her.

"Maybe you're right. I should tell her I'm sorry. But first I want her to suffer a little more. She has to learn it one way or another."

Emma's mind was made up, and her mother could do nothing to chance it. To be more convincing, Emma set her jaw in the way she always does when she wanted to look confident.

"I know, sweetie. Just don't let her hang around too long. She isn't as tough as she looks."

"Thanks mom. For you know, helping me."

Emma said, now looking to the ground, avoiding her mother's eyes.

"Always honey."

Her mother answered softly and giving her a quick hug.

"But no I have to get going. Go and help Regina, she can use someone being friendly to her right now"

"I will, mom. Thanks."

Her mother walked away and resumed her task she had been given earlier.

Emma couldn't imagine what she would do if she didn't have her mother close to her. She and her mother were pretty close, and Emma could always talk to her when something was bothering her. Their band had only grew stronger when her father died, and they had both needed the other more than ever.

Losing her father was the worst thing she had ever felt, and she was sure that it felt the same as losing the person you love.

Just like Regina had lost Daniel.

She had found out his name by asking around the castle grounds. He had been the stable boy for years, and he and Regina were a couple. That was very obvious. It was also well known that Cora didn't allowed the relationship. She wanted Regina to be a woman with power, and that wasn't gonna happen if she would marry a stable boy.

That's why she had killed the poor man and forced Regina to marry the King.

And that was how she ended up here, in the middle of nowhere on a road in the middle of the forest with people who were all no more than strangers to her. People who saw her as their Queen, not as the woman named Regina who wanted nothing more than freedom.

And her mother was right, Emma needed to be a little more friendly to her. Regina was alone, and although she desperately tried to hide it, Emma could see she felt alone and needed someone to talk to. That was why Emma went there in the first place. She had caught the woman staring openly at her for a few minutes, and she had assumed it was because she looked familiar. They had met before in the kitchen, so she already knew one person here.

For the third time that day she looked up at the sky. What she had told Regina was true, but she hadn't told her the whole story. But maybe that would come one day. She didn't really liked to talk about that year in her life, not even with her mother. And since Regina was hard to get through, she wondered if that time would ever come.

It was almost fully dark now, and all the tents were set up. The cooks would start with dinner soon, and Emma felt her stomach grumble. She hadn't eaten much today, too nervous to feel the hunger before, but now she could feel the toll the absence of food had taken on her body.

When she had woken up that morning, all she could think about was it was the day they would return home. And although she missed her own bed, she enjoyed the freedom she had had the last few weeks when they were traveling. For five weeks there weren't any orders to clean something, or to do some other stupid chore she had grown so tired of. She preferred to be with the horses or hunt in the forest. But Leopold did not allow woman to do any of that. It was a men's job, or so he thought.

Emma hated the way the walls of the castle seemed to crush her more every minute she spent there doing things she hated to do. She had thought about quitting and looking for a better fitting job, but she couldn't do that to her mother.

She had only taken this job in the first place to earn more money so they could afford their own house and normal food for dinner. With her father no longer being here to bring in the money, she and her mother were forced to work at the castle because that was the only place they hired woman to do the jobs men didn't want to do.

She was trapped in her life, and these weeks on the road were like a vacation for her. Even though she had to work harder then she had ever done in the palace before. But it felt freeing, and she didn't wanted to give that up just yet.

Looking back at the brunette sitting on the fallen tree, she saw Snow had joined her and was talking to her. Next to Snow the young Queen looked even younger. Emma didn't know how old she was exactly, but she couldn't be very much older than she was.

Too young to be married already.

Emma remembered the other woman's words, telling her she was hungry, cold and sore. It wasn't really Emma's job to take care of that, but she thought it was a good way to make it op to Regina. Food was on the way, a blanket wasn't very hard to get, but with the soreness she couldn't help her with. Of course she wanted to, she had various ways to deal with that, she silently smirked. But that wasn't appropriate at all, so she tried to erase the images from her mind.

Walking over to the fire that was now lighted in the middle of the camp, she got herself two bowls of the soup the cooks had prepared for them. With a warm blanket tucked under her arm she made her way back to Regina, who was now sitting alone again. Snow apparently took off to eat.

"Okay Swan, be nice. She needs it."

She repeated that in her head until she reached the brunette who curiously looked up to her with a raised eyebrow.

"I have some food for you. And a blanket. Because you're cold."

She wasn't really good at reading other people's faces, but she was almost sure she saw a wave of relief wash over the other woman face before it was replaced with the same bored look she had on her face almost permanently the last few days.

Before Regina could complain, Emma seated herself next to her and gave her a bowl. Placing her own on the ground next to her feet, she unfolded the blanket and carefully draped it around Regina's shoulders, cautious not to throw the bowl out of her hands.

"Thank you, miss Swan. But I am perfectly capable of eating by myself."

Regina said, but her voice lacked the coldness that had been in there when she had first talked to Emma that day.

"I know. But I'm not."

Emma said with a grin.

It maybe would take some time to let this woman warm up to her, but she was willing to take that challenge. Maybe it would brighten up the boring days at the palace. But first she needed to get this woman to talk, but for now she was perfectly fine with the silence while they were eating.

Next to her she could hear the other woman's dry chuckle.

"I'm not really sure how I could assist you in this manner. But feel free to inform me."

Emma smiled but said nothing. Turning her attention back to her dinner she started eating. Regina followed her actions and the both sat there, just enjoying each other's company while slowly finishing their food.

"Thank you for the blanked."

Regina suddenly said, breaking the comfortable silence between them.

"No problem. I hope it helped."

Emma said, not looking up from the bowl she still held in her hands.

"It did."

After that was said, they returned to the silence, neither of them feeling the need to start a conversation. As the evening went on, they both were lost in their own thoughts. When Regina yawned, Emma realized how tired she was.

"You should go to bed, your Majesty. You have a long day of traveling tomorrow. "

"You should too, Miss Swan. We wouldn't want any accidents to happen because you fell asleep while doing whatever you do."

Emma let out a small laugh.

"You're right. Shall I bring you to the tent you will be staying in tonight?"

"Yes, that would be nice."

The brunette said without thinking.

"Follow me My Lady."

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**I hoped you liked this chapter. I will try to update regularly, but I can't promise anything. Please let me know what you think and leave a review for me, they make my day better.**

**Thank you.**


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